No, I’m not on about the Great Northern Railway, although I do feel that getting a train from Doncaster to York can be done quicker and cheaper (Thanks, Dr Beeching). I’m on about a reunion of a band I have loved for over a decade, which seems a little crazy, I know. For me, it’s a bit like the fans screaming for a Resident Evil 2 remake which is now in the pipeline for release in 2016. Seriously Capcom, don’t bow to the people that only want it for the HD 1080p 60fps bollocks. You’ll be getting hounded for another remake in ten years in 4k resolution.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Guns N Roses. I really do; they were a band I listened to constantly on repeat when I was about fourteen or fifteen. Slash was my first proper guitar hero, the riff to Welcome to the Jungle gave and still gives me hours of enjoyment when I play it and the November Rain solos are beautiful in every facet. The thing that bothers me about a reunion of my favourite band is the fact everyone seems convinced that it will happen. Okay, it’s fun to dream and without dreams nothing would get done. But it’s not so much of a dream as more of a load of delusion. In 2012 Slash revealed he had a list of seven criteria that must be met if he is to participate in an interview: GNR questions are fine, but there are no questions to be asked as to the matter of a reunion, personal questions about his and Axl Rose’s fractured relationship and that there has to be a focus of what Slash is doing now and in the future.

According to Slash’s book (a great read if you’re interested), he lives in the moment so while he has fond memories of touring the world and playing for thousands of people worldwide, but he wants to be doing whatever it is he wants to be doing. Right now, that’s the stuff with Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators. Earler this year he was asked about the possibility of a reunion on CBS This Morning and was a bit more diplomatic. “I mean, if everybody wanted to do it and do it for the right reasons,” he said, “I think the fans would love it. I think it might be fun at some point to try and do that. Recently, it appeared on various news mediums that Slash had repaired his relationship with Axl Rose, which has done nothing to fuel the reunion rumours like the thatched roofs that fueled the Great Fire of London.

So what would be the ‘right reasons’? From Slash’s standpoint, and having read his book multiple times, is that it’s not a question of how many millions of dollars he would be given. Reuinions seem to be the big thing these days and it seems like a lot of groups have got back together under an ‘anniversary tour’ when they’ve been off the radar for so long to make sure the bills have been paid: Busted are currently touring with McFly after they disappeared, S Club 7 are getting back together as are Steps. Led Zep rumours of a reunion are rife (the $800m offer was deemed to be false) and it seems to be a thing of “well, if Take That can do it, we can too.” Yeah, doesn’t always work though. Slash will no doubt do it because the whole band wants to do it purely for musical reasons over financial gain. It’s not like he, Izzy, Duff and Axl need it.

The original GNR Lineup (L-R): Izzy Stradlin, Steven Adler, Axl Rose, Duff McKagan and Slash

The original GNR Lineup (L-R): Izzy Stradlin, Steven Adler, Axl Rose, Duff McKagan and Slash

And this is where things seem to fall apart: Izzy Stradlin does not like performing in front of groups of people and seriously dislikes touring. He rarely gives interviews and seems happy and making a living for himself through selling his albums on iTunes; as well as turning down an appearance at the Rock N’ Roll Halld of Fame. The biggest problem I can see is Steven Adler: After he was fired from Guns N’ Roses for doing too many drugs (I know, right- But that said, Lemmy got fired from Hawkwind for doing the WRONG drugs) Adler was pushed into a bigger drug and alcohol fueled depression and after shooting a speedball, a potentially lethal combo of heroin and cocaine had his first drug induced stroke.There was to be another, plus a heart attack, and an estimated thirty one trips to the accident and emergency departments of various Los Angeles hospitals. While he is now off the drugs and Jaeger that had plagued him for nearly twenty years, Adler’s drumming has suffered and it might be too difficult to nail the songs in a similar manner to how he had done in the past.

The final problem is Axl. Axl is very protective of his voice and has abandoned shows in the past (see Metallica riot) due to his vocal problems. Watch any recent live show and you will see his voice now at over fifty years old is no longer how it was when he was twenty three. The recent Van Halen reunion with David Lee Roth also shows that while these bands might have been awesome in the seventies and the eighties, sometimes it is just best to leave things how they were and not get back together as you’ll only end up disappointing people.

And I think that’s where I might be against this whole reunion thing: It will be a train wreck. For me, some of the best bands that ever existed did not last that long: Guns, CCR, Nirvana, Cream, The Doors, Steely Dan etc and for that reason there is a certain legend to them: They came, saw, conquered and disappeared but because of their sudden impact they aren’t forgotten about like… I dunno… B*Witched or Hanson. Those who got to see it in person will gather children round while they tell the story and the legend continues to grow. The GNR reunion will be a disaster. The fans, expecting them to play just like they did in 1988 will be pissed off and the whole thing will be labelled as a massive failure and that failure will be what people remember.
Why not just leave it in the 80s and let the legend grow?

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